Episode Title: iControl Myself

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY

The gang is hanging out post-webcast. Carly is scrolling through fan comments, Robert is eating cereal with orange juice for some reason, and Sam is using a hair straightener to toast a Pop-Tart.

CARLY
Hey, people are loving the last webcast. Especially Freddie’s new camera rig—wait, someone just called it "cinematic genius"?

SAM
Cinematic genius? From Freddie? The guy who once put a filter on a grilled cheese sandwich?

FREDDIE (bursting through the door, wearing sunglasses and holding a shiny new touchscreen controller)
Oh, I’m just getting started.

ROBERT
You look like a YouTuber who just bought a drone and thinks he's better than Spielberg.

FREDDIE
This new tech lets me control everything from one interface. Cameras, lighting, audio levels… mood settings. It even tracks facial reactions and suggests punch-ins. It’s called the MegaRig Ultra+, and it’s going to elevate iCarly.

MONTAGE: FREDDIE GOES OVERBOARD

Freddie obsessively rewires the iCarly studio with his MegaRig Ultra+, even installing a robotic boom arm that claps after good jokes.

He’s spending all his time editing in a dark room full of blinking lights, talking to himself like a mad scientist.

FREDDIE (to himself)
Enhance. Sharpen. Isolate giggle spike. Yes. YES!

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – NIGHT

Freddie shows the gang a clip of the newest webcast edit—it looks like a movie trailer, full of slow motion, dramatic lighting, and moody violin music.

CARLY
Freddie, this is… beautiful. But it’s also two hours long and I look like I’m giving a TED Talk on sadness.

SAM
There’s a shot of me eating a meat stick in reverse. Why?

FREDDIE
It’s a statement on consumption and time!

ROBERT
It’s also terrifying. I haven’t blinked in five minutes and I think your edit’s why.

INT. FREDDIE’S ROOM – LATER THAT WEEK

The room is now like a movie set—Freddie’s surrounded by screens showing fan analytics, heat maps, reactions, and feedback from the last webcast. He’s drinking an energy drink labeled “SparkleVenom: Gamer Edition.”

GIBBY (off-screen, peeking through door)
You coming outside today, or do we just slide your meals under the door again?

FREDDIE (monotone)
I’ve found enlightenment in algorithms.

INTERVENTION SCENE – iCARLY STUDIO

The gang (Robert, Carly, Sam, Gibby) stage an intervention. They’re all wearing headbands made of aluminum foil for no real reason.

CARLY
Freddie. You need to stop. You haven’t looked anyone in the eye in days. You started calling your equipment “your children.”

ROBERT
You edited me into a second Robert. I’m arguing with myself in the last episode.

SAM
And I saw a shot of me eating a burrito, slowed down and set to opera. Opera, Freddie.

FREDDIE
But the ratings are up! Comments are up! I’m evolving!

GIBBY
You're mutating, bro.

Beat. Freddie slowly looks around. Sees himself on a monitor. Face pale, hair crazy, eyes twitching.

FREDDIE (softly)
...I edited out my own laugh.

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY (ONE WEEK LATER)

Freddie is back to normal. The MegaRig Ultra+ has been dismantled and turned into a coat rack.

CARLY
So… how does it feel to be back?

FREDDIE
Good. I finally slept. And I made a sandwich. With real bread, not keyboard keys.

SAM
Just promise us no more robotic editing arms, no more violin montages, and no more meat stick opera.

FREDDIE
I swear. From now on, I edit with moderation.

ROBERT
And if he doesn’t, I say we stuff him into a beanbag and roll him into the Puget Sound.

CLOSING GAG – iCarly Webcast

Freddie cues up the next live webcast. The gang is back to basics. Until…

FREDDIE
Just one little enhancement. No one will notice.

A fog machine explodes. Dramatic lights flash. A robotic boom arm slaps Carly’s smoothie out of her hand.

SAM
FREDDIE!!

FREDDIE
...I have a problem.

*CREDITS ROLL over bloopers of the gang trying to do their usual bits but getting hit with rogue camera arms and random auto-zoom.


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