Episode Title: iLove You, But I Also Want the Phone

INT. PEAR PHONE STORE – OUTSIDE – VALENTINE’S DAY – 5:58 P.M.

A long line of people snakes down the sidewalk outside the Seattle Pear Store. The building is lit up like Times Square and has a massive inflatable Pear Phone bouncing on the roof. A big sign reads: “PEAR PHONE 13 – MIDNIGHT RELEASE – VALENTINE’S DAY EXCLUSIVE DROP!”

Cue the iCarly gang—CARLY, SAM, ROBERT, FREDDIE, GIBBY, and SPENCER—standing near the middle of the line with folding chairs, thermoses, snacks, and utter chaos.

CARLY (rolling out her sleeping bag)
Okay. We’ve got food, games, power banks, and a prime spot in line. This is gonna be the least romantic Valentine’s Day ever—but I’m here for it.

FREDDIE (setting up a tripod)
And we’re vlogging the whole thing. “FreddieCam: 12 Hours in Line for the Pear Phone 13” is gonna get so many clicks.

ROBERT (fiddling with a mini camping stove)
Is it weird that I brought a tiny fondue set for me and Sam? I thought it’d be romantic.

SAM (snatching a marshmallow)
You brought fire, snacks, and me. I call that a win.

SPENCER (eyes wide, twitching)
Guys, I’ve been up for forty-two hours straight making a sculpture shaped like a heart that also dispenses yogurt tubes and sings Barry Manilow. I’m running on fruit snacks and regret.

GIBBY (wearing a homemade cardboard helmet)
So excited for Galaxy Wars 9: Return of the Smudge Droids! I heard someone gets married and explodes at the same time.

CARLY (confused)
Wait—Gibby, you do know we’re in line for the new Pear Phone, right?

GIBBY (blinking)
...I do now.

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EXT. PEAR PHONE STORE – LATER THAT NIGHT – 9:22 P.M.

The group is nestled into their makeshift camp. Carly’s in her sleeping bag, munching on Skeze-Its. Robert is stirring mini fondue with a plastic spork. Sam has her feet on Freddie’s camera case.

CARLY (sighs)
I don’t care if the Pear Phone 13 folds itself into a sandwich—I’m already cold, tired, and somehow emotionally sticky.

SPENCER (muttering in his sleep)
Yogurt tubes… Barry… Manilow…

He slumps face-first into a bag of pretzels and immediately begins snoring.

SAM (watching Robert)
You know, this is kinda romantic… in a freezing, techno-nerd survival camp sort of way.

ROBERT
It’s like a post-apocalyptic Valentine’s Day. We wait for phones instead of love, and the only thing playing is lo-fi hip hop from a speaker shaped like a banana.

He offers her a heart-shaped piece of bread to dip in fondue.

SAM (pretending to swoon)
You really know how to treat a girl.

They lean in to share the dip… just as Gibby accidentally kicks over the fondue pot while practicing lightsaber moves with a baguette.

GIBBY
Droid fire incoming! Shields up!

ROBERT
My chocolate!!

SAM (to Gibby)
Next time, I use you as the skewer.

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EXT. PEAR PHONE STORE – LATER – 11:01 P.M.

A breeze rolls in. Carly is tucked deep into her sleeping bag. T-Bo walks by with a stick of skewered microwave burritos trying to sell them.

T-BO
Hot burritos on a dowel! Breakfast burritos! Valentine’s burritos! Burritos with… questionable fillings!

Suddenly—a raccoon sprints out of the bushes, dives into the bottom of Carly’s sleeping bag, and steals the Skeze-Its box she stashed there.

CARLY (bolting upright)
WHAT—RACCOON! RACCOON! HE TOOK MY CHEESE DUST!!

SAM (laughing)
That’s what you get for sleeping with snack contraband, Shay.

FREDDIE (pointing)
Is… is he climbing the inflatable Pear Phone with the box?

Everyone stares in awe as the raccoon scales the building with Olympic-level determination.

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EXT. PEAR PHONE STORE – MIDNIGHT

The line surges forward as the doors open. Hype music blasts. Everyone starts chanting: “PEAR! PEAR! PEAR!”

STORE EMPLOYEE
Only the first 30 get the exclusive heart-shaped phone case and bonus ringtones!

GIBBY (confused)
Wait... you guys really aren’t here for Galaxy Wars?

SAM
Still not a movie, Gibby.

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INT. SHAY APARTMENT – NEXT DAY

The whole gang lounges in the living room. Everyone’s exhausted, cuddled up under blankets, phones in hand. Spencer is asleep on the floor with a burrito on his chest. Carly is wrapped in duct tape and a bathrobe.

CARLY
So I got a new phone… and rabies exposure.

FREDDIE
I got one blurry picture of the raccoon and 2,000 views on my vlog.

GIBBY (scrolling on his old flip phone)
Still no Galaxy Wars tickets. But I did preorder a pasta-making machine by accident.

SAM (laying with her feet on Robert’s lap)
All in all? Pretty solid Valentine’s Day. I got fire-kissed cheese bread, a fondue foot massage, and a guy who waited in the cold for me.

ROBERT (smiling)
I also got second-degree fondue burns. So, y’know. Love.

They high five without moving. Spencer suddenly bolts upright from the floor.

SPENCER
GUYS! The yogurt heart sculpture caught fire and now sings ABBA!

Everyone stares at him. Then all together—

EVERYONE
Of course it does.

FADE OUT with the sound of the raccoon chittering in the distance, now wearing the inflatable Pear Phone as a hat.