Episode Title: iBite

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – HALLOWEEN NIGHT

Fog machine on. Orange lights flicker. The apartment is decked out in cobwebs, bats, and Spencer’s haunted art sculptures. Carly walks in wearing a raincoat and looking like an angsty teen from Forks, Washington.

CARLY
Welcome… to iCarly’s Twilight Halloween Special! We call it… iBite.

SAM (popping up behind her, fangs in, hair teased out)
I’m playing Vambella. She’s moody, immortal, and a vegetarian… except when she gets hangry.

FREDDIE
I’m the guy who exists solely to be friend-zoned. I’ll be over here… filming.

ROBERT (entering in a bad brown wig and gold contact lenses)
I’m Cedmund. I glitter in the sun and brood near cliffs for emotional impact.

GIBBY (rips off shirt dramatically)
I’m Shirtwolf. I transform when emotions—or shirts—run high!

SKIT BEGINS – INT. SPOOKY SCHOOL CAFETERIA

Carly (as the Bella-parody, "Starella") sits alone at lunch. Robert (Cedmund) appears at the other side of the table, staring intensely at her.

CARLY (Starella)
You’re staring at me like I’m a plate of garlic bread.

ROBERT (Cedmund)
That’s… because you smell like danger and lasagna.

SAM (Vambella, sliding in from nowhere)
Back off, Cedmund. You don’t even sparkle right. You look like someone rolled you in glitter glue.

ROBERT
We live forever and this is the hairstyle I chose. Let me have this.

INT. DARK FOREST (aka Spencer’s laundry closet)

Starella follows Cedmund into a poorly lit room filled with dry ice smoke and a fan.

CARLY (serious)
You’re not like the other kids. You never blink. You read my mind. You sparkle in math class.

ROBERT (sighs, dramatically turns to camera)
I’m a vampire. But, like… the romantic kind. Not the messy kind. My diet consists of angst and vitamin gummies.

SPENCER (as vampire dad, suddenly appearing in a cloak)
And I’m his eternally disappointed vampire father, Dadracula.

INT. PROM SCENE – GYM DECORATED IN BLACK AND RED BALLOONS

Everyone is in prom clothes. Fog machines are going off like they’re trying to trigger the fire alarm.

GIBBY (Shirtwolf)
Starella, forget Cedmund. I don’t brood—I howl. Plus, I moisturize.

ROBERT (Cedmund, appearing behind Carly silently like a bat-themed ninja)
She’s already chosen, Shirtwolf.

SAM (Vambella, with a turkey leg instead of blood)
Let’s settle this the traditional vampire way: interpretive dance-off!

Cue a ridiculous montage of vampire ballet, slow-motion glitter stares, and Shirtwolf doing the worm.

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – AFTER SKIT WRAP-UP

CARLY
So that’s our version of Twilight! Less kissing, more fog machines, and one very confused shirtless werewolf.

GIBBY (still shirtless, panting)
I didn’t know this much fog was legal indoors.

SPENCER (emerging from the bathroom)
Someone put glitter in my toothpaste! I SPARKLE FROM WITHIN!

ROBERT
You’re welcome.

SAM
Happy Halloween, weirdos! Now let’s eat candy until we pass out or emotionally implode—like real vampires.

CREDITS ROLL
Over bloopers: Robert’s wig falling off, Gibby accidentally breaking the fog machine, Spencer trying to fly with a cape and falling over the couch.


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