Episode Title: iHobby Horse

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY

The gang is chilling post-webcast. Sam is half-asleep on the couch. Carly is trying to braid Robert’s hair (for fun). Freddie scrolls through emails.

FREDDIE
Guys, we just got entered into an international hobby horsing competition in… Finland?

CARLY (alarmed)
Hobby… what now?

SAM (sitting up suddenly)
Hobby horsing. It’s that thing where girls run around like majestic unicorns with fake horses between their legs. I love it.

ROBERT
Of course you do. You also once made a guy cry during musical chairs.

CARLY (still confused)
Why are we entered in it?

FREDDIE (reading)
Entry submitted by... Neville.

EVERYONE
NEVILLE!

INT. NEVILLE’S COMPUTER LAIR – MEANWHILE

NEVILLE, now older and creepier, sits in a cave-like basement full of glowing monitors and beeping tech.

NEVILLE
You may have foiled me before, Carly Shay… but let’s see how you handle Finland. With hobby horses. Mwahaha…

A monitor sparks. He gets zapped and yelps.

NEVILLE
Okay... maybe need to call tech support first.

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – MOMENTS LATER

CARLY
We’re not actually going to Finland to… hobby horse. Right?

SAM (Googling)
Top prize is $50,000 American.

CARLY (putting on sneakers)
I’ll pack.

SPENCER (O.S.)
I’ve got air miles! I once accidentally booked a lifetime supply of them while trying to order a pizza from an airplane seat screen!

GIBBY
I’m already wearing snow pants. Coincidence? Maybe.

INT. FINNISH STADIUM – DAY

A massive arena filled with banners, ice sculptures, and super intense teens with serious expressions holding hobby horses. The crowd roars. The iCarly gang walks in, completely out of place.

ROBERT
It’s like the Olympics met My Little Pony in a blizzard.

SAM (in full track gear, hobby horse slung like a sword)
I was born for this.

CARLY (trying to walk like an equestrian)
I’m not even sure which part of this is the horse.

Enter a young, serious-looking judge—long blonde hair to the back of her knees, clipboard in hand, expression cool and unshakable. She’s basically a slightly younger Finnish version of Amanda Higgins, but with a judge’s sash and ice in her veins.

JUDGE (softly, accent thick)
Welcome. No crying. No whining. Only riding.

SAM (awed)
I think I love her.

ROBERT (whispers)
You and me both.

INT. STADIUM TRACK – COMPETITION MONTAGE

A montage of absurdly amazing hobby horsing action:

  • Sam does a perfect gallop followed by a 360 twirl.

  • Carly attempts a graceful jump, slips, and goes flying directly into a hay bale.

  • Gibby rides his hobby horse backwards, yelling “NEIIIGHHHH!” in a Viking helmet.

FREDDIE
This is both majestic and deeply confusing.

INT. COMPETITION FIELD – MOMENTS LATER

Carly tries another leap—but lands badly and twists her leg. She collapses. The stadium gasps.

Suddenly, SPENCER runs out of the stands screaming, wearing full cowboy gear and an airline blanket like a cape.

SPENCER
DON’T SHOOT! DON’T SHOOT! SHE’S NOT A REAL HORSE!!

He dramatically scoops Carly up.

*SPENCER (to the judge, pleading)
You don’t have to take her behind the barn!

CARLY (groaning, mortified)
Spencer. Not helping.

INT. STADIUM – FINAL MOMENTS

The judges deliberate. Then—

JUDGE (Amanda-Higgins-insert)
And the champion of the International Hobby Horsing Gala is… Sam Puckett of Seattle, Washington, America.

CROWD ROARS. Sam fist pumps. The judge nods solemnly.

SAM
I told you I was born to ride.

ROBERT
Honestly, I’m afraid to question it anymore.

INT. NEVILLE’S COMPUTER LAIR – FINAL SCENE

NEVILLE watches the winning footage, sipping a juice box and shaking his head in disgust.

NEVILLE
$50,000 richer… and still smug. Curses!

He angrily slams a keyboard and accidentally activates his smart toaster.

TOASTER (robot voice)
Bagel mode engaged.

NEVILLE
I don’t even own bagels!!

INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

Carly is on the bed with an ice pack on her leg. Sam is polishing her gold-plated hobby horse trophy. Spencer is gently petting a real Finnish reindeer he “borrowed.”

GIBBY
I joined a local snow choir. I’m not coming home.

FREDDIE
We leave in six hours.

ROBERT
I think I might… take up the sport.

SAM
You got good leg control, Robinson. But you’d need better hair flow.

CARLY
I can’t believe I got injured in a competitive horse simulation.

SPENCER
I once dislocated my hip while pretending to be a pumpkin. You’ll be fine.

CREDITS ROLL over bloopers of the cast trying to do hobby horse tricks and falling into snowbanks. One clip is Spencer chasing the reindeer yelling “Come back, Sir Pranceston!”


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