Episode Title: “iLike the New Guy” (Part 2)

INT. RIDGEWAY HIGH – HALLWAY – DAY

Robert is standing at his locker, talking to himself quietly while trying to fix a broken zipper on his backpack.

ROBERT
Okay, just be cool. She’s just a person. A dangerous, oddly captivating, meat-obsessed person with hair that smells like strawberries and danger.

SAM (O.S.)
You talkin’ about me, Boom Boy?

Robert jumps. Sam’s leaning against the locker next to his, eyebrow raised like a hawk who just spotted prey.

ROBERT
Me? No. I was… talking about this zipper. It’s rebellious. Like you.

SAM (smirks)
Nice save. Lame, but nice.

ROBERT (clears throat)
So… uh… want to hang out after school? Like, just as friends. Or, you know, non-enemies.

Sam narrows her eyes and steps closer, leaning in.

SAM
You got a crush on me, Robinson?

ROBERT (nervously chuckles)
What? Pfft. No! I mean… maybe? Hypothetically? In the multiverse where meat sticks are currency and school lockers are sentient?

SAM (grabs him by the shirt collar)
Listen here, Nerd Boy. I don’t do cute, awkward feelings. I punch cute, awkward feelings in the throat.

ROBERT
Okay. That’s fair. Honestly, I expected that.

Beat. Sam releases him and starts walking away… then pauses.

SAM
...but if I catch you lookin’ at me like that again… I might not punch you. I might just sit closer. Maybe.

She keeps walking. Robert stands frozen, eyes wide.

ROBERT (V.O.)
I think I just got threatened… into a date. I… I respect that.

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT

Carly is adjusting lights while Freddie checks the sound levels. Robert is already there, sitting awkwardly on the couch. Sam bursts in carrying a tray of tacos.

SAM
Dinner time, losers! And one for the Nerd Prince.

She throws a taco at Robert. He catches it. Barely.

CARLY (watching this with interest)
Sooo… is this, like… flirting?

FREDDIE
I think it’s more like… emotional dodgeball.

SAM (plopping next to Robert)
Eat your taco, Robinson. You’re gonna need your strength. Tomorrow, I’m taking you to the junkyard to throw hammers at microwaves. It’s my idea of bonding.

ROBERT
…Can we bring snacks?

SAM
You are the snack, dork.

Carly and Freddie exchange “what is happening??” glances. Robert just grins and bites into his taco.


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