Episode Title: “iLike the New Guy” (Part 3)

INT. JUNKYARD – DAY

The camera opens on a wide shot of a weirdly cinematic junkyard just outside Seattle. Rusted car parts. Broken appliances. Tires stacked like donuts of doom. ROBERT and SAM stand in front of an old microwave, each holding a sledgehammer.

ROBERT
So… this is a date?

SAM
Don’t push it. This is stress relief. And you’re lucky I like your face enough not to replace the microwave with you.

ROBERT
Chivalry lives.

Sam grins and BAM! smashes the microwave. Sparks fly. Robert watches, both impressed and slightly terrified.

ROBERT (V.O.)
She’s like a demolition derby wrapped in sarcasm and strawberry shampoo. And for some reason… I think I love that.

SAM
Your turn, Romeo.

Robert takes a swing. It’s weak. The microwave doesn’t even dent. Sam steps up behind him, reaches around, and guides his hands.

SAM
You gotta use your hips. You ever used your hips before?

ROBERT (gulping)
Not outside of… dancing to “Uptown Funk” alone in my bedroom.

SAM
You just keep making it too easy, Boom Boy.

She helps him swing the sledgehammer again—this time, a proper CRUNCH. The microwave caves in. Sam cheers, a little too excited.

SAM
YES! See? I make you better. Like a violent fairy godmother.

They laugh, both breathing hard. There’s a beat where they just look at each other.

ROBERT
You’ve got something in your hair.

He gently pulls a shred of microwave wire out of her hair. She watches him. Suddenly, her smile fades—not in a bad way, but in that rare, genuine “wait, this might be real” way.

SAM
…You’re not like other guys.

ROBERT
Is that good?

SAM
It’s weird. And maybe… kind of dangerous.

Beat. They lean in—just an inch, just enough to notice. Then—

SPENCER (O.S.) (off-screen)
HEY KIDS! I BROUGHT JUNKYARD CHILI!

Spencer bursts into the shot, carrying a steaming pot and wearing a welding mask.

ROBERT & SAM
AHHHH!

Sam immediately grabs a tire and hurls it at Spencer. It knocks the pot clean out of his hands.

SPENCER
My beans!!

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – LATER THAT NIGHT

The gang is gathered. Freddie’s editing clips. Carly is painting her nails. Robert sits next to Sam on the couch, way too close for “just friends.”

CARLY
So… junkyard fun? Did anyone get tetanus?

ROBERT
Emotionally, yes.

SAM (smirking)
You owe me another taco. And maybe… a dance lesson. If I ever catch you shaking your hips like that again, I’m calling the authorities.

ROBERT
That’s fair. Just… don’t call it a date.

SAM (leaning in close)
Fine. Let’s not call it anything.

She flicks his forehead. He winces. She doesn’t move away. Carly raises an eyebrow. Freddie mutters something under his breath.

FREDDIE
Yep. Emotional dodgeball.


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