Episode Title: iRV Trouble

INT. MOVING RV – DAY – LIVE BROADCAST

A custom-decorated RV barrels down a desert highway. Inside, chaos is in full swing. The gang is attempting to do a full iCarly live show on the road. A camera is rigged up near the sink. CARLY is holding a mic. Everything is vibrating slightly because of the road.

CARLY
What’s up, digital daredevils! We’re coming to you live from an RV! That’s right—we’re mobile, we’re mildly nauseous, and we’re doing iCarly on the go!

SAM (trying to sit on a stool that keeps rolling)
We’re headed to the National Tech Expo in Tucson, and we’re doing it the iCarly way—by cramming six weirdos into a vehicle with questionable brakes!

FREDDIE (tightening the straps on the camera tripod)
I had to duct tape my camera to the stovetop to keep it stable. Real pro stuff, guys.

ROBERT (holding onto a cabinet handle for dear life)
Everything about this is a bad idea. The RV sways more than a soap opera plot.

GIBBY (emerging from a cabinet for no reason)
I found canned ravioli in there! I named him Kyle!

CARLY
We’ve got games, skits, and—WHOAA!

The whole RV lurches. Everyone gets jostled wildly. Carly falls into a laundry basket full of extension cords. Sam hits the ceiling with a thud and slides down the fridge.

INT. RV DRIVER’S SEAT – SPENCER DRIVING

SPENCER is at the wheel, eyes wide, wearing a cowboy hat, aviators, and what looks like Lone Star’s outfit from Spaceballs. Dozens of wooden clothespins are clipped to his forearms.

SPENCER
I haven’t blinked since Nevada! Clothespins keep the arms awake! My elbows are buzzing!

He sips something murky from a gas station coffee mug labeled “Lizard Juice.”

INT. RV – CONTINUING LIVE SHOW

CARLY
So anyway! Our next segment is—

Another massive BUMP. Robert flies into the pantry. Gibby falls face-first into a pie someone forgot about.

ROBERT (muffled from inside cabinet)
I don’t even know what segment this is anymore!

SAM
This segment is called “GET YOUR HEAD DOWN!”

Out the side window, a group of gnarly motorcycle bikers are now riding next to the RV. They look tough. One of them has a bean burrito in his hand.

SAM (grinning wildly)
Hey, biker dude!

She yanks open the side window, sticks her head out, and—with alarming precision—snatches the burrito right out of the biker’s hand as the RV speeds by.

BIKER (shouting behind them)
HEY! That was my last bean!

SAM (mouth full)
Finders keepers, bean boy!

INT. RV BATHROOM – GIBBY

Gibby enters the tiny RV bathroom, proudly holding a juice box.

GIBBY
Time to destroy this place.

He fumbles with the buttons near the toilet. One says “Flush.” The other says “Evac.” He hits “Evac.”

CUT TO: A pipe on the RV’s undercarriage opens and sprays the toilet tank contents all over the road, just as the biker gang is catching up again.

BIKER (wiping visor)
I am gonna destroy whoever did that!!

INT. RV – NIGHTFALL

Everyone is groggy. Sam is asleep with chips on her lap. Freddie is passed out next to the camera. Carly is face-down in a blanket fort. Robert is re-reading the RV manual like it’s a survival guide.

ROBERT
Spencer hasn’t blinked in four states. We need to pull over before he starts seeing ghosts made of cheese.

SPENCER (from driver’s seat, hallucinating slightly)
That cactus is talking to me. Its name is Barbara.

EXT. DESERT REST STOP – NIGHT

The RV finally pulls over. Spencer stumbles out, strips off his Lone Star outfit, and collapses into a folding chair wearing nothing but tighty whities and a button-up shirt. He stares up at the stars.

SPENCER (quietly)
I am the danger… I am the one who… forgot to put the RV in park…

Suddenly the RV starts rolling. No one is inside. It slowly drifts downhill into the desert like a weird slow-motion nightmare.

EXT. DESERT – CONTINUING

The RV bumps to a stop against a cactus. Sam opens the door groggily, still chewing a chip.

SAM
Did we… migrate?

SPENCER (panicking in the distance)
DON’T ARREST ME I’M NOT WEARING PANTS!

He runs barefoot through the sand toward the RV, mirroring Breaking Bad’s iconic “Walter White in the desert” shot.

CARLY (yelling from inside the RV)
Next time we do a road trip, I’m flying coach with a crying baby and a stranger's elbow in my ribs!

ROBERT (emerging from the RV bathroom with goggles on)
Well, the toilet’s completely unusable. So... who’s digging the hole?

INT. RV – WRAP-UP – NEXT MORNING

Everyone’s back inside, half-conscious, doing a barely-coherent sign-off to the live broadcast.

CARLY (with bedhead)
This has been iCarly: Mobile Madness Edition. We’ve traveled through four states, one burrito theft, and at least two biohazard violations.

FREDDIE
The camera lens has frosting on it and I’m not even surprised anymore.

SAM
This was the best Valentine’s week ever. And by best, I mean worst, and also best.

GIBBY (with toilet paper stuck to his shoe)
That was incredible. I wanna do it again but with go-karts.

SPENCER (sitting in the front seat, fully dressed now)
Next stop: Arizona Ice Cream Cactus Museum! Let’s roll!

The engine roars to life. Everyone braces for impact as the RV jerks forward.

EVERYONE
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

CREDITS ROLL over bloopers:

  • Gibby accidentally locking himself in the fridge.

  • Robert trying to microwave fondue again.

  • Spencer talking to a cactus named Barbara and offering it jerky.


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