Episode Title: iScience, Yo

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE WEBCAST

The camera rolls. Theme music fades out. CARLY stands in front of the camera with her usual charm turned up to 11.

CARLY
Hey everybody! Welcome back to iCarly—your weekly dose of nonsense, nachos, and nonsense about nachos.

SAM (pops up from below the frame holding a plate of said nachos)
I bring the cheese. Metaphorically and physically.

FREDDIE (behind the camera)
We're already trending in Canada. Not sure why, but hey—maple syrup for everybody!

CARLY
Coming up tonight: Gibby goes head-to-head with a pogo stick, Robert tries to solve a Rubik's Cube using only his feet, and we show you how to make a volcano that won't destroy your kitchen... but might emotionally scar your carpet.

SEGMENT 1: “Name That Gibby!”

A lineup of four shirtless dudes stand behind cardboard cutouts with eyeholes. One is Gibby. Carly, Sam, and Robert guess which one is the real one. Robert guesses incorrectly and gets a whipped cream pie to the face.

ROBERT (wiping his eyes)
I regret nothing… but also everything.

SEGMENT 2: “Robert and Sam Go Breaking Plausible”

Cue dramatic Breaking Bad-style music. The set is now a “secret lab,” which looks suspiciously like a fold-out table covered in baking soda, vinegar, and food coloring. ROBERT appears wearing a yellow hazmat suit and a bald cap. SAM has a beanie, hoodie, and says “yo” a lot.

ROBERT (as Walter)
We’re making science, Jesse. Not candy. Not cookies. Science.

SAM (as Jesse)
Yeah, science! Yo, Mr. White, we gonna cook this volcano or what?

ROBERT
This isn’t just any baking soda volcano, Jesse. This is purified acidic base-reaction tech—industrial-grade. Elemental. Controlled chaos.

SAM
It’s got red food coloring. That’s intense.

Robert starts explaining the process in a very dry, PBS-style educational voice.

ROBERT
When baking soda, a base, mixes with vinegar, an acid, a chemical reaction occurs, releasing carbon dioxide gas, which causes pressure and forces liquid out through the—

SAM (interrupting)
Boom juice, got it. Let’s blow this thing up!

Robert adds vinegar to the “lab vat” (a 2-liter soda bottle with paper mâché around it). It fizzes up and poofs a small stream of fizzy lava down the side.

SAM (deadpan)
...That’s it?

ROBERT
I used the budget version. And the carpet is unionized.

Beat.

SAM (throws hands up, triumphant)
YEAH, SCIENCE, BITCH!

Robert stares at her. Sam throws on safety goggles and sprays silly string in the air like confetti.

ROBERT
You’re the worst lab partner I’ve ever had.

SAM
I’m the only lab partner you’ve ever had.

ROBERT (quietly)
Touché.

SEGMENT 3: WRAP-UP

CARLY
Well, that was iCarly! Where it’s pop culture and educational! Kind of like if Bill Nye binge-watched Netflix and drank soda through his nose.

FREDDIE
At least we didn’t go with that Squid Game parody Sam pitched.

SAM
Hey, it was tasteful! Just… a little violent. And full of red light/green light trauma.

FREDDIE
That’s… what I’m saying!

CARLY
Anyway—thanks for watching and remember to—

Suddenly, the camera shifts. Everyone turns. A masked guard from Squid Game, full costume and everything, steps slowly out from behind the curtain. No one speaks. The music stops. Complete silence. Then—

EVERYONE (screaming)
AAAHHHHH!!!

SPENCER (off-screen, panicking)
I DON’T OWE YOU MONEY!!

Freddie’s camera tilts as he backs away. Carly trips over a fog machine. Robert grabs the vinegar like it’s a weapon. Sam jumps behind a table and starts throwing marshmallows.

SAM
I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME!!

FEED CUTS TO BLACK.

On-screen text appears:

“Technical difficulties. Please stand by. Or don’t. We can’t tell you what to do.”

CLOSING MUSIC plays faintly, with the sound of a marshmallow slapping someone in the background.


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