Episode Title: iStream Shenanigans

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE BROADCAST

The “LIVE” light blinks. FREDDIE counts down behind the camera. CARLY stands center stage, full of energy. SAM is casually tossing grapes into her mouth from a distance. ROBERT is off to the side wearing… a stovepipe hat and a fake beard.

CARLY
What’s up, internet weirdos! Welcome back to iCarly! I’m Carly!

SAM
I’m Sam! And this handsome top-hatted man is…

ROBERT (in full character voice)
Abraham Lincoln… 16th president, log cabin aficionado, beard enthusiast… and apparently now, a baseball fan.

CARLY
We’ll get to that. But first—tonight’s stream is all about whatever we feel like! We’ve got skits! We’ve got audience challenges! We’ve got Freddie drinking soda through a kazoo!

FREDDIE (holding up the kazoo nervously)
Do I really—?

SAM
Kazoo or you’re fired.

SEGMENT 1: Viewer Challenge – "Balance That Cheese!"

CARLY, FREDDIE, and GIBBY take turns trying to stack slices of cheese on each other’s heads. GIBBY is weirdly great at it.

GIBBY
It’s all about head temperature and slice rigidity.

CARLY (covered in cheddar)
Why do you know that?

GIBBY
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.

SEGMENT 2: Skit – “Abraham Lincoln and His Wife Attend a Baseball Game”

Lights dim. Old-timey music plays. ROBERT, as Abraham Lincoln, sits on a fake park bench. SAM, dressed in a comically oversized bonnet and 1800s dress, flops down beside him holding a foam finger.

SAM (as Mary Todd Lincoln)
Abey, I told you we shoulda sat closer to the snacks!

ROBERT (as Lincoln)
Now, Mary… you know I enjoy baseball for the sport, not the concessions. I didn’t fight vampires and preserve the Union so I could eat soggy nachos.

SAM
You literally did fight vampires. That’s canon now. Read a book.

A foul ball flies through the studio (thanks to a spring-loaded pitching machine operated by Spencer) and hits Lincoln’s hat clean off. It spins in midair dramatically.

ROBERT
I cannot tell a lie… oh wait, wrong president. He looks up. I’m in danger.

SAM
Heck yeah you are! You bought these tickets off an old-timey Craigslist! You know what you get for that?

She pulls out a popcorn cannon (???) and blasts him point blank. Popcorn rains everywhere. The studio ERUPTS with laughter.

ROBERT (wiping popcorn off his beard)
Four score and seven minutes ago, I was not emotionally prepared for this.

SEGMENT 3: Random Dancing – Founding Fathers Remix Edition

The RANDOM DANCING light flashes. The theme? “Historical Figures at a Rave.”

Robert as Lincoln moonwalks. Sam does aggressive bonnet-spins. Gibby enters in a powdered wig doing the worm. Carly is dancing with a Declaration of Independence scroll like it’s a dance partner. Freddie… is stuck in the fog machine.

SEGMENT 4: Viewer Q&A

CARLY (reading from chat)
@CoolBeans44 wants to know: “Are Sam and Robert dating IRL, or are you just really good at pretending to have insane chemistry?”

SAM (grinning)
Let’s just say… the chemistry isn’t fake. But neither is my ability to knock him out with a meat stick if he answers wrong.

ROBERT (nodding nervously)
So much love… and so much danger.

SEGMENT 5: Freddie’s Kazoo Chug

Freddie tries to drink soda through a kazoo. It ends poorly. He snorts fizz and falls backward. Gibby stands over him holding a juice box like a nurse at war.

GIBBY
He’s stable! But carbonated.

SIGN-OFF

CARLY
And that’s it for tonight’s iCarly! We laughed, we danced, we honored President Lincoln by pelting him with popcorn!

SAM
Good times, good snacks, and one unconscious camera guy.

ROBERT (adjusting his beard)
Happy Presidents’ Day slash Valentine’s Day slash Whatever Day. May your fondue be hot and your historical skits historically inaccurate.

EVERYONE TO CAMERA
BYE!!!

CLOSING CREDITS:

Over bloopers of Sam trying to hold in laughter during the skit, Robert losing his beard mid-line, and Spencer getting stuck in a top hat he swears was “possessed.”


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