iblog

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – NIGHT – HALLOWEEN SPECIAL TAPING The apartment is decked out like a gothic vampire manor. Cobwebs, LED candles, fog everywhere, and a suspicious amount of glitter. CARLY Welcome to our Halloween Special: iBite ! The only vampire drama where no one actually kisses and someone definitely pulls a hamstring. SAM We’re parodying that sparkly vampire movie we legally can’t name but rhymes with “Might-Light.” FREDDIE I’m playing the brooding background guy who’s just here for Wi-Fi. ROBERT (in full glitter makeup) I’m Cedmund. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. I only smolder… deeply. GIBBY (already shirtless) I’m Shirtwolf. I howl when the plot needs spice. HIGHLIGHTED SKIT MOMENTS: Cedmund (Robert) and Starella (Carly) awkwardly flirt in a thunderstorm. Sam shows up mid-scene on a hobby horse for no reason, claiming “it’s her vampire steed.” Spencer appears randomly as a vampire elder, holding a bag of glitter and a juice box. INT. SHAY APARTMENT...

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – HALLOWEEN NIGHT Fog machine on. Orange lights flicker. The apartment is decked out in cobwebs, bats, and Spencer’s haunted art sculptures. Carly walks in wearing a raincoat and looking like an angsty teen from Forks, Washington. CARLY Welcome… to iCarly’s Twilight Halloween Special! We call it… iBite . SAM (popping up behind her, fangs in, hair teased out) I’m playing Vambella. She’s moody, immortal, and a vegetarian … except when she gets hangry. FREDDIE I’m the guy who exists solely to be friend-zoned. I’ll be over here… filming. ROBERT (entering in a bad brown wig and gold contact lenses) I’m Cedmund. I glitter in the sun and brood near cliffs for emotional impact . GIBBY (rips off shirt dramatically) I’m Shirtwolf. I transform when emotions—or shirts—run high! SKIT BEGINS – INT. SPOOKY SCHOOL CAFETERIA Carly (as the Bella-parody, "Starella") sits alone at lunch. Robert (Cedmund) appears at the other side of the table, staring intense...

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY The gang is chilling post-webcast. Sam is half-asleep on the couch. Carly is trying to braid Robert’s hair (for fun). Freddie scrolls through emails. FREDDIE Guys, we just got entered into an international hobby horsing competition in… Finland? CARLY (alarmed) Hobby… what now? SAM (sitting up suddenly) Hobby horsing. It’s that thing where girls run around like majestic unicorns with fake horses between their legs. I love it. ROBERT Of course you do. You also once made a guy cry during musical chairs. CARLY (still confused) Why are we entered in it? FREDDIE (reading) Entry submitted by... Neville. EVERYONE NEVILLE! INT. NEVILLE’S COMPUTER LAIR – MEANWHILE NEVILLE, now older and creepier, sits in a cave-like basement full of glowing monitors and beeping tech. NEVILLE You may have foiled me before, Carly Shay… but let’s see how you handle Finland . With hobby horses . Mwahaha… A monitor sparks. He gets zapped and yelps. NEVILLE Okay......

INT. HAWAII – BEACHFRONT HOTEL LOBBY – DAY ALOHA TECH-CON 2025 banners hang everywhere. The gang—Carly, Sam, Freddie, Robert, Gibby—are surrounded by luggage, ukulele elevator music, and complimentary leis. SPENCER is supposed to be with them... but isn’t. CARLY Spencer said he’d meet us here five minutes ago. Where is he? INT. SPENCER’S HOTEL ROOM – FLASHBACK (MOMENTS AGO) Spencer holds up a peanut from a hotel snack cart. It’s slightly soggy. He shrugs. SPENCER Five-second rule... extended to five-minute rule…? He pops it in his mouth. SPENCER (later, moaning from bed) The peanuts… were from the toilet cart… BACK TO LOBBY SAM So our only adult is stuck in a peanut-induced fever dream. Classic iCarly vacation energy. FREDDIE At least we’re at the biggest tech convention in the Pacific. ROBERT (eyeing the schedule) There’s a guest list for the talent showcase. Look— Cody Featherman and Max Voltage are performing. CARLY Are those… real names? SAM No one’s na...

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY The gang is hanging out post-webcast. Carly is scrolling through fan comments, Robert is eating cereal with orange juice for some reason, and Sam is using a hair straightener to toast a Pop-Tart. CARLY Hey, people are loving the last webcast. Especially Freddie’s new camera rig—wait, someone just called it "cinematic genius"? SAM Cinematic genius? From Freddie ? The guy who once put a filter on a grilled cheese sandwich? FREDDIE (bursting through the door, wearing sunglasses and holding a shiny new touchscreen controller) Oh, I’m just getting started. ROBERT You look like a YouTuber who just bought a drone and thinks he's better than Spielberg . FREDDIE This new tech lets me control everything from one interface. Cameras, lighting, audio levels… mood settings. It even tracks facial reactions and suggests punch-ins. It’s called the MegaRig Ultra+ , and it’s going to elevate iCarly. MONTAGE: FREDDIE GOES OVERBOARD Freddie obsessive...

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY ROBERT is climbing on a chair, trying to hang a weird Spencer-made wall sculpture that looks like a ferret made out of forks. CARLY Careful, Robert. That thing weighs, like, thirty pounds and I’m not cleaning your brain off the ceiling. SPENCER (off-screen) That ferret is a metaphor for my love life—delicate, stabby, and vaguely metallic! Robert wobbles— ROBERT I'm fine! I’ve got cat-like— WHAM! He topples, hits his head on the edge of the couch, and everything goes black. DREAM SEQUENCE – INT. 1960s LIVING ROOM – “I DREAM OF JEANNIE” STYLE Cue swirly dream effect, harp music, and the I Dream of Jeannie -style title card: “Captain Nielsen and the Bottle of Trouble” A Totally Authentic 1960s Sitcom Special ROBERT now wears a snappy Air Force uniform with an absurd number of medals. He sits on a plush pink couch in a retro living room. ROBERT (as Captain Nielsen) Where am I? Why do I smell Aqua Net and betrayal? A pink smoke puff appea...