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Showing posts from March, 2025

Episode Title: iStranger Stuff

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – NIGHT – HALLOWEEN SPECIAL Darkness. A red glow pulses under the apartment door. Thunder rumbles. The gang sits in a circle on the floor, flashlights under their chins. CARLY Tonight’s webcast is iStranger Stuff —our homage to '80s horror, dimension-hopping drama, and weird kids on bikes. SAM I’m playing Twelve . One better than Eleven. Stronger. Meaner. Hates waffles. Likes bacon jerky . FREDDIE I’m the nerdy one with too many walkie-talkies and unresolved trust issues. ROBERT (holding a blinking LED Christmas light string) I’m the guy who talks to the Upside Down through mood lighting . GIBBY (dressed in an old Ghostbusters jumpsuit) I’m the guy who disappears first, but mostly because I wander off to look for pudding. INT. SCHOOL GYM (AKA THE KITCHEN) – NIGHT Robert strings up blinking lights and stares at the wall. ROBERT (whispers) If you’re in there, blink twice. And tell me what you did with my limited-edition action figure. A string o...

Episode Title: iBite: Extended Cut

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – NIGHT – HALLOWEEN SPECIAL TAPING The apartment is decked out like a gothic vampire manor. Cobwebs, LED candles, fog everywhere, and a suspicious amount of glitter. CARLY Welcome to our Halloween Special: iBite ! The only vampire drama where no one actually kisses and someone definitely pulls a hamstring. SAM We’re parodying that sparkly vampire movie we legally can’t name but rhymes with “Might-Light.” FREDDIE I’m playing the brooding background guy who’s just here for Wi-Fi. ROBERT (in full glitter makeup) I’m Cedmund. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. I only smolder… deeply. GIBBY (already shirtless) I’m Shirtwolf. I howl when the plot needs spice. HIGHLIGHTED SKIT MOMENTS: Cedmund (Robert) and Starella (Carly) awkwardly flirt in a thunderstorm. Sam shows up mid-scene on a hobby horse for no reason, claiming “it’s her vampire steed.” Spencer appears randomly as a vampire elder, holding a bag of glitter and a juice box. INT. SHAY APARTMENT...

Episode Title: iBite

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – HALLOWEEN NIGHT Fog machine on. Orange lights flicker. The apartment is decked out in cobwebs, bats, and Spencer’s haunted art sculptures. Carly walks in wearing a raincoat and looking like an angsty teen from Forks, Washington. CARLY Welcome… to iCarly’s Twilight Halloween Special! We call it… iBite . SAM (popping up behind her, fangs in, hair teased out) I’m playing Vambella. She’s moody, immortal, and a vegetarian … except when she gets hangry. FREDDIE I’m the guy who exists solely to be friend-zoned. I’ll be over here… filming. ROBERT (entering in a bad brown wig and gold contact lenses) I’m Cedmund. I glitter in the sun and brood near cliffs for emotional impact . GIBBY (rips off shirt dramatically) I’m Shirtwolf. I transform when emotions—or shirts—run high! SKIT BEGINS – INT. SPOOKY SCHOOL CAFETERIA Carly (as the Bella-parody, "Starella") sits alone at lunch. Robert (Cedmund) appears at the other side of the table, staring intense...

Episode Title: iHobby Horse

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY The gang is chilling post-webcast. Sam is half-asleep on the couch. Carly is trying to braid Robert’s hair (for fun). Freddie scrolls through emails. FREDDIE Guys, we just got entered into an international hobby horsing competition in… Finland? CARLY (alarmed) Hobby… what now? SAM (sitting up suddenly) Hobby horsing. It’s that thing where girls run around like majestic unicorns with fake horses between their legs. I love it. ROBERT Of course you do. You also once made a guy cry during musical chairs. CARLY (still confused) Why are we entered in it? FREDDIE (reading) Entry submitted by... Neville. EVERYONE NEVILLE! INT. NEVILLE’S COMPUTER LAIR – MEANWHILE NEVILLE, now older and creepier, sits in a cave-like basement full of glowing monitors and beeping tech. NEVILLE You may have foiled me before, Carly Shay… but let’s see how you handle Finland . With hobby horses . Mwahaha… A monitor sparks. He gets zapped and yelps. NEVILLE Okay......

Episode Title: iCrush at Tech-Con

INT. HAWAII – BEACHFRONT HOTEL LOBBY – DAY ALOHA TECH-CON 2025 banners hang everywhere. The gang—Carly, Sam, Freddie, Robert, Gibby—are surrounded by luggage, ukulele elevator music, and complimentary leis. SPENCER is supposed to be with them... but isn’t. CARLY Spencer said he’d meet us here five minutes ago. Where is he? INT. SPENCER’S HOTEL ROOM – FLASHBACK (MOMENTS AGO) Spencer holds up a peanut from a hotel snack cart. It’s slightly soggy. He shrugs. SPENCER Five-second rule... extended to five-minute rule…? He pops it in his mouth. SPENCER (later, moaning from bed) The peanuts… were from the toilet cart… BACK TO LOBBY SAM So our only adult is stuck in a peanut-induced fever dream. Classic iCarly vacation energy. FREDDIE At least we’re at the biggest tech convention in the Pacific. ROBERT (eyeing the schedule) There’s a guest list for the talent showcase. Look— Cody Featherman and Max Voltage are performing. CARLY Are those… real names? SAM No one’s na...

Episode Title: iControl Myself

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY The gang is hanging out post-webcast. Carly is scrolling through fan comments, Robert is eating cereal with orange juice for some reason, and Sam is using a hair straightener to toast a Pop-Tart. CARLY Hey, people are loving the last webcast. Especially Freddie’s new camera rig—wait, someone just called it "cinematic genius"? SAM Cinematic genius? From Freddie ? The guy who once put a filter on a grilled cheese sandwich? FREDDIE (bursting through the door, wearing sunglasses and holding a shiny new touchscreen controller) Oh, I’m just getting started. ROBERT You look like a YouTuber who just bought a drone and thinks he's better than Spielberg . FREDDIE This new tech lets me control everything from one interface. Cameras, lighting, audio levels… mood settings. It even tracks facial reactions and suggests punch-ins. It’s called the MegaRig Ultra+ , and it’s going to elevate iCarly. MONTAGE: FREDDIE GOES OVERBOARD Freddie obsessive...

Episode Title: iDream of Jeannie (and Regret)

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – DAY ROBERT is climbing on a chair, trying to hang a weird Spencer-made wall sculpture that looks like a ferret made out of forks. CARLY Careful, Robert. That thing weighs, like, thirty pounds and I’m not cleaning your brain off the ceiling. SPENCER (off-screen) That ferret is a metaphor for my love life—delicate, stabby, and vaguely metallic! Robert wobbles— ROBERT I'm fine! I’ve got cat-like— WHAM! He topples, hits his head on the edge of the couch, and everything goes black. DREAM SEQUENCE – INT. 1960s LIVING ROOM – “I DREAM OF JEANNIE” STYLE Cue swirly dream effect, harp music, and the I Dream of Jeannie -style title card: “Captain Nielsen and the Bottle of Trouble” A Totally Authentic 1960s Sitcom Special ROBERT now wears a snappy Air Force uniform with an absurd number of medals. He sits on a plush pink couch in a retro living room. ROBERT (as Captain Nielsen) Where am I? Why do I smell Aqua Net and betrayal? A pink smoke puff appea...

Episode Title: iDream of Gilligan

INT. SHAY APARTMENT – NIGHT ROBERT lounges on the couch in pajama pants and a tattered hoodie, surrounded by empty snack wrappers and a very questionable expired can of spaghetti he just finished eating. On the TV? A Gilligan’s Island rerun playing in all its grainy, black-and-white glory. TV ANNOUNCER (O.S.) ...and now, back to Gilligan’s Island , where nothing ever makes sense and everyone has too much luggage for a three-hour tour! Robert yawns, burps once (not proudly), and slumps sideways on the couch, eyes fluttering closed. DREAM SEQUENCE – EXT. TROPICAL ISLAND – DAY Cue bongo drums. A title card appears in big, retro letters: “Gilligan’s Island... But It’s Also iCarly and There Are Dancers” ROBERT is now in full SKIPPER gear—navy shirt, cap, paunchy belly thanks to a pillow shoved under his shirt. He’s standing next to a bamboo hut, hands on his hips. ROBERT (as Skipper) Little Buddy! Where’d you go this time?! If you got stuck in a coconut again, I’m making you ...

Episode Title: iRV Trouble

INT. MOVING RV – DAY – LIVE BROADCAST A custom-decorated RV barrels down a desert highway. Inside, chaos is in full swing. The gang is attempting to do a full iCarly live show on the road . A camera is rigged up near the sink. CARLY is holding a mic. Everything is vibrating slightly because of the road. CARLY What’s up, digital daredevils! We’re coming to you live from an RV ! That’s right—we’re mobile, we’re mildly nauseous, and we’re doing iCarly on the go! SAM (trying to sit on a stool that keeps rolling) We’re headed to the National Tech Expo in Tucson, and we’re doing it the iCarly way—by cramming six weirdos into a vehicle with questionable brakes! FREDDIE (tightening the straps on the camera tripod) I had to duct tape my camera to the stovetop to keep it stable. Real pro stuff, guys. ROBERT (holding onto a cabinet handle for dear life) Everything about this is a bad idea. The RV sways more than a soap opera plot. GIBBY (emerging from a cabinet for no reason) I ...

Episode Title: iScience, Yo

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE WEBCAST The camera rolls. Theme music fades out. CARLY stands in front of the camera with her usual charm turned up to 11. CARLY Hey everybody! Welcome back to iCarly —your weekly dose of nonsense, nachos, and nonsense about nachos. SAM (pops up from below the frame holding a plate of said nachos) I bring the cheese. Metaphorically and physically. FREDDIE (behind the camera) We're already trending in Canada. Not sure why, but hey—maple syrup for everybody! CARLY Coming up tonight: Gibby goes head-to-head with a pogo stick, Robert tries to solve a Rubik's Cube using only his feet, and we show you how to make a volcano that won't destroy your kitchen... but might emotionally scar your carpet. SEGMENT 1: “Name That Gibby!” A lineup of four shirtless dudes stand behind cardboard cutouts with eyeholes. One is Gibby. Carly, Sam, and Robert guess which one is the real one. Robert guesses incorrectly and gets a whipped cream pie to t...

Episode Title: iStream Shenanigans

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE BROADCAST The “LIVE” light blinks. FREDDIE counts down behind the camera. CARLY stands center stage, full of energy. SAM is casually tossing grapes into her mouth from a distance. ROBERT is off to the side wearing… a stovepipe hat and a fake beard. CARLY What’s up, internet weirdos! Welcome back to iCarly ! I’m Carly! SAM I’m Sam! And this handsome top-hatted man is… ROBERT (in full character voice) Abraham Lincoln… 16th president, log cabin aficionado, beard enthusiast… and apparently now, a baseball fan . CARLY We’ll get to that. But first—tonight’s stream is all about whatever we feel like ! We’ve got skits! We’ve got audience challenges! We’ve got Freddie drinking soda through a kazoo! FREDDIE (holding up the kazoo nervously) Do I really—? SAM Kazoo or you’re fired. SEGMENT 1: Viewer Challenge – "Balance That Cheese!" CARLY, FREDDIE, and GIBBY take turns trying to stack slices of cheese on each other’s heads. GIBBY is w...

Episode Title: iLove You, But I Also Want the Phone

INT. PEAR PHONE STORE – OUTSIDE – VALENTINE’S DAY – 5:58 P.M. A long line of people snakes down the sidewalk outside the Seattle Pear Store. The building is lit up like Times Square and has a massive inflatable Pear Phone bouncing on the roof. A big sign reads: “ PEAR PHONE 13 – MIDNIGHT RELEASE – VALENTINE’S DAY EXCLUSIVE DROP! ” Cue the iCarly gang—CARLY, SAM, ROBERT, FREDDIE, GIBBY, and SPENCER—standing near the middle of the line with folding chairs, thermoses, snacks, and utter chaos. CARLY (rolling out her sleeping bag) Okay. We’ve got food, games, power banks, and a prime spot in line. This is gonna be the least romantic Valentine’s Day ever —but I’m here for it. FREDDIE (setting up a tripod) And we’re vlogging the whole thing. “FreddieCam: 12 Hours in Line for the Pear Phone 13” is gonna get so many clicks. ROBERT (fiddling with a mini camping stove) Is it weird that I brought a tiny fondue set for me and Sam? I thought it’d be romantic. SAM (snatching a marshmall...

Episode Title: iCan’t Stop the Dance

I NT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE WEBCAST The show is live. Carly stands front and center, looking pumped. Freddie mans the camera, Sam lounges in her signature pose on the beanbag, ROBERT is adjusting a fog machine in the background. CARLY What’s up, nation of weirdos! Tonight’s episode is about a serious epidemic sweeping Ridgeway High… SAM No, not Gibby’s chili-related rash. That’s under control. Mostly. CARLY We’re talking about… spontaneous dancing ! People are breaking out into full-blown dance numbers with zero warning. It’s real. It’s confusing. It’s probably contagious. ROBERT (stepping into frame with goggles and a clipboard) According to my research—done entirely on suspicious internet forums—it may be caused by an airborne audio parasite… or just extreme boredom. SAM (grabbing his clipboard and smacking him lightly with it) Nerd. ROBERT Yup. And proud. INT. RIDGEWAY HIGH – HALLWAY – EARLIER THAT DAY (FLASHBACK) The gang is walking down the hall when sudde...

Episode Title: iLike the New Guy – Part 10 (Finale)

INT. SHAY BUILDING – ELEVATOR – EARLY EVENING ROBERT and SAM step into the creaky elevator on their way up to the iCarly studio. Robert’s holding a tray of weird smoothies. Sam’s got a bag of meat sticks and looks like she’s been plotting something. She hits the button for the top floor. The doors close… Then the elevator jerks— hard —and stops. Lights flicker. ROBERT ...That felt ominous. SAM (sips her meat stick like a drink) Either we’re being abducted by aliens, or your boy Spencer plugged in another haunted toaster. INT. ELEVATOR – 30 MINUTES LATER They’re still stuck. Sam’s sprawled on the floor, legs crossed. Robert’s pacing in the two-foot space he has. ROBERT You know, most of my social interactions don’t involve being kissed, slammed into walls, or locked in tiny metal boxes. SAM That’s your first mistake. You hang out with boring people. ROBERT (laughing despite himself) You’re not boring. You’re like… being chased by a rollercoaster that’s also on fire. SA...

Episode Title: iLike the New Guy – Part 9

  INT. RIDGEWAY HIGH – HALLWAY – NEXT DAY ROBERT peeks around the corner like he’s scouting for enemy snipers. He’s wearing sunglasses and holding a rolled-up poster like a spy with a fake blueprint. He checks the coast… and scurries down the hall like a man on a mission. He makes it to his locker and fumbles with the combo, glancing side to side nervously. GIBBY (O.S.) Dude. You look like you’re trying to hack into the Pentagon using a lunch tray. ROBERT (jumping) AHH! Don’t sneak up on me like that—I’m in evasion mode. GIBBY What are you even hiding from? ROBERT Sam. I’m trying to go a full day without being kissed, slapped, or used as a human armrest. GIBBY Sounds like love to me. ROBERT (rubbing his temples) If this is love, I want the manual, the warranty, and a return policy. INT. BAND ROOM – LATER Robert ducks into the band room to hide. It’s quiet. Peaceful. He breathes. He relaxes. ROBERT (to himself) Okay. Safe zone. Sam doesn’t play instruments. Sh...

Episode Title: iLike the New Guy – Part 8

INT. RIDGEWAY HIGH – CAFETERIA – LUNCHTIME ROBERT is sitting alone, nervously stirring a questionable meatloaf. GIBBY plops down across from him, shirt half-tucked, tray full of nothing but pudding cups. GIBBY Dude. I saw the webcast. You got pole-kissed . That’s next-level. ROBERT Yeah. It was like being emotionally mugged on live television. GIBBY Classic Sam. You know what your problem is? ROBERT I foolishly show up to things? GIBBY (ignores that) You’re letting her win. She keeps kissing you, you just take it. Like a deer in headlights. You gotta fight fire with… dramatic pause GIBBY GASOLINE. ROBERT (dubious) That sounds highly unsafe. And illegal in most states. GIBBY (leans in, intense) Next time she comes in hot… you kiss her first . Hard. Take control. Make her the flustered one. ROBERT You really think that’ll work? GIBBY (cracking open a pudding) Nope. But it’ll be fun to watch what happens when it backfires. INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY – AFTERNOON Rob...

Episode Title: iLike the New Guy – Part 7

INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE BROADCAST The iCarly webshow is in full swing. Colored lights flash. Freddie gives the “we’re live” thumbs-up. CARLY stands in front of the camera, excited. CARLY Hey everyone! Tonight’s skit is our tribute to old-school Saturday morning cartoons… with a twist! SAM (appearing from behind a curtain, in full campy cartoon-style "tribal" getup with feathers and face paint) And by “twist,” she means “we made Robert the human sacrifice!” CUT TO: ROBERT is tied (safely, comically, not dangerously) to a tall foam pole in the center of the studio. He looks very done with all of this. ROBERT I was told there’d be juice boxes. I was lied to. CARLY (giggling) Tonight’s skit: “Revenge of the Feather Queen!” Sam and I play sisters from the legendary cartoon “Totem Trouble” —and this guy’s about to get… smooched into submission. ROBERT I knew I should’ve transferred to that wizard school. Cue campy tribal drumming music. Carly and Sam beg...

Episode Title: iLike the New Guy – Part 6

INT. GROOVY SMOOTHIE – AFTERNOON The Groovy Smoothie is buzzing. Bright lights, strange decorations, a kid playing ukulele badly in the corner. T-Bo is behind the counter, enthusiastically trying to sell hot dogs skewered tightly onto a wooden dowel , poking them dangerously close to passing customers’ faces. T-BO Hot dogs on a stick! But not a stick— this stick! One solid mahogany dowel! Get your dogs or get out! A hot dog falls off and hits the floor with a moist splat. T-Bo doesn’t notice. At a booth near the window, SAM and ROBERT sit across from each other. Robert is sipping something green and suspicious while Sam munches on curly fries and leans across the table like a lion sizing up a gazelle. SAM So, Romeo… I’m thinking we stage a reenactment of “The Shield Kiss” for the show’s anniversary episode. ROBERT (flatly) Hard pass. I like my personal space and my emotional well-being. SAM (mock pout) Aw. But it was so magical . You, me, the awkward silence… your lips ...

Episode Title: “iLike the New Guy” (Part 5)

INT. RIDGEWAY HIGH – HALLWAY – THE NEXT DAY The bell rings. The halls are buzzing . Robert walks in trying to look casual, but he’s immediately swarmed by classmates whispering, pointing, and snickering like a pack of hyenas at a gossip convention. RANDOM STUDENT #1 Hey Robert! Is the wedding gonna be livestreamed, or are you saving that content for the honeymoon episode? RANDOM STUDENT #2 (singing mockingly) “Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson…” points dramatically at Sam as she walks by holding a meat stick and a juice box like she’s done with everyone already. SAM (flatly) Call me that again and I’ll file you under “missing.” RANDOM STUDENT #3 Too late, Mrs. R! We already voted you and Robert “Most Likely to Kiss During a Fire Drill.” Robert is trying not to blush. Which of course means he is bright red and sweating like a guy in a rom-com montage. STUDENT WITH CAMCORDER Robert! Any comment on your first on-screen smooch ? Was it scripted? Was it method acting? ROBERT ...

Episode Title: “iLike the New Guy” (Part 4)

  INT. iCARLY STUDIO – NIGHT – LIVE BROADCAST Carly is seated in her host chair, beaming at the webcam. Sam is bouncing in place beside her like a caged raccoon with a Red Bull IV. Robert sits in a foldable lawn chair between them, holding a large clear plastic police riot shield like it’s totally normal. CARLY Welcome back to iCarly ! Tonight, we’re introducing a brand-new segment we like to call… SAM “Interrogation Station!” Where we question our guest until they break, cry, or fall in love with us! CARLY (eyeing Sam) …Those are not the official rules. SAM (grinning) They are now . CARLY Our guest-slash-target tonight is Ridgeway’s newest nerd-in-residence, Robert Robinson! Robert raises a hand in a half-wave while gripping the shield tightly. ROBERT I just want to say for the record, I agreed to this under duress. And also because Carly promised snacks. SAM (already leaning uncomfortably close) Tell the people why you're hiding behind a riot shield, Boom Bo...

Episode Title: “iLike the New Guy” (Part 3)

INT. JUNKYARD – DAY The camera opens on a wide shot of a weirdly cinematic junkyard just outside Seattle. Rusted car parts. Broken appliances. Tires stacked like donuts of doom. ROBERT and SAM stand in front of an old microwave, each holding a sledgehammer. ROBERT So… this is a date? SAM Don’t push it. This is stress relief. And you’re lucky I like your face enough not to replace the microwave with you . ROBERT Chivalry lives. Sam grins and BAM! smashes the microwave. Sparks fly. Robert watches, both impressed and slightly terrified. ROBERT (V.O.) She’s like a demolition derby wrapped in sarcasm and strawberry shampoo. And for some reason… I think I love that. SAM Your turn, Romeo. Robert takes a swing. It’s weak. The microwave doesn’t even dent. Sam steps up behind him, reaches around, and guides his hands. SAM You gotta use your hips. You ever used your hips before? ROBERT (gulping) Not outside of… dancing to “Uptown Funk” alone in my bedroom. SAM You just keep m...

Episode Title: “iLike the New Guy” (Part 2)

INT. RIDGEWAY HIGH – HALLWAY – DAY Robert is standing at his locker, talking to himself quietly while trying to fix a broken zipper on his backpack. ROBERT Okay, just be cool. She’s just a person. A dangerous, oddly captivating, meat-obsessed person with hair that smells like strawberries and danger. SAM (O.S.) You talkin’ about me, Boom Boy? Robert jumps. Sam’s leaning against the locker next to his, eyebrow raised like a hawk who just spotted prey. ROBERT Me? No. I was… talking about this zipper. It’s rebellious. Like you. SAM (smirks) Nice save. Lame, but nice. ROBERT (clears throat) So… uh… want to hang out after school? Like, just as friends. Or, you know, non-enemies. Sam narrows her eyes and steps closer, leaning in. SAM You got a crush on me, Robinson? ROBERT (nervously chuckles) What? Pfft. No! I mean… maybe? Hypothetically? In the multiverse where meat sticks are currency and school lockers are sentient? SAM (grabs him by the shirt collar) Listen here, ...